i’m (not) yours

i haven’t felt really alive in a while.

i disconnected myself from twitter, facebook (lies) and MSN (truth).

i dont really know how i am passing my days; i dropped my other course that i’m suppose to be taking so i can chill out for a bit.

nothing bad has happened but nothing good either.

i’m spending my nights watching movies and reading Douglas Coupland novels (only fiction; no real world crap here please)

it’s kind of making me awesome; only in my mind.

i wish i had more followers than pure bots.

i hate bots; i get a little ring from gmail telling me that i have new followers; but it turns out it’s spam…

i got a new laptop today; correction; i got my mom a new laptop today; it’s bigger, cleaner, faster, but worser speakers; did i say worser speakers? yes i did.

my mom will destroy the new laptop less than i would so i think she should keep it instead of me.

Douglas coupland’s novels makes me feel like i’m drowning.

drowning in my lack of life.


i think a lot of people are mad at (or hate) me; like A LOT, more than the number of pennies in my wallet. honestly? i don’t care.

I am thinking seriously about moving; moving in a bit more than a year;

it’ll make me seem heartless to not say goodbye properly to people that i’ve known for a while.

i dont think they’ll notice if i’m gone. so im kind of excited

self indulgence without having to kill yourself.

today i sat in the car while waiting for my mom to buy something at 7 – 11 i began to text my friend a “what up, r u dead” msg but my mom came back before i could finish.

i say “ru dead” because when i phone people 3 times in a row no one calls back. .

i am kind of a bitch because i talk too much and i talk shit about everyone; people need to know that that is how i am and i need to tell myself to stop doing it.

i couldn’t care enough to finish that text; instead i had a really good burger.

back to douglas coupland.

i wonder if those pages with repeated words like “ramen” is to fill up pages.

oh i also found a cheque in the book (the books are from the library)

next author to destroy is David Sedaris.

i don’t know the word for “discography” for books; so i’m just going to say that i am going to complete David’s “discography” next.

my mom’s making me drinks “green bean soup” it tastes like it sounds; not really actually; it tastes like water; really thick water. apparently it’s good for my kidneys

apparently i have a really bad kidney.

20 thoughts on “i’m (not) yours”

  1. lol well you have two kidneys so the other can always compensate for however bad one is! (unless both are bad and work worse than one… in that case get a transplant! and I have no idea what I’m crapping on about anymore lol)

    emmmm I haven’t been on twitter msn or facebook at alllll! it’s a miracle I can gmail!!! I missed my friend’s 21st (ok I wasn’t keen in the first place) because I cbf FB!

    unfortunately I games and don’t read much books (lol I’m so uncultured)

  2. i guess you would consider me a net stalker or a lurker since i never comment. i only read, but don’t fret; not all ‘new followers’ are bots. or at least i wouldn’t think so.

    i really enjoy your blog; your musings and little fangasms always make me chuckle (in a good way). keep it up, and i hope life looks up :D

  3. when will your laptop be fixed?!!!!!!!
    sigh life’s so boring :/
    yeah i got invited to a thing tonight
    i mean i do want to go but i gota work instead
    meh i cbf too

  4. discography for books… maybe a library?

    ooo… i read j-pod, and i liked it… i’ve been meaning to pick up his other books too. Lol.

  5. i love that shirt em! xD oohhh and i saw douglas coupland novels before but never got the chance to read one. what would you recommend?

  6. heyy thats a uniqlo shirt(?), i finally have a couple uniqlo shirts but…they are the new gundam collabs..haha

    “i dont think they’ll notice if i’m gone. so im kind of excited”
    i think that a lot too, sometimes i think i should just go off to some rural town in japan where no one can find me :P

  7. Stupid twitter bots make me miss real ppl adding me! Siiigh.

    Stop carrying so many pennies, less of a reminder. Haahaa

    I don’t have any advice to give since I’ve got no real friends here and I’m already itching to move again, haahaa. Moving is liberating. It makes you feel invincible and special. Like a drug haahaa

  8. Ah just learn to ignore all the twitter notifications! I ignore all of mine because of the stupid bots D:

    Hmmm… I don’t know what to say about your friendship probs atm :( “people need to know that that is how i am and i need to tell myself to stop doing it.” I agree though I think to have truly good friends you need to adjust yourself a little bit. I don’t know why people say true friends are the ones who just accept you the way you are because I think friendship is a two way street, you can’t just expect to agree on everything. You need to work at it. Just my two cents~

  9. I have no idea! I was told not to ask about it since I’m being too much of a bother but it’s only natural to worry about one’s baby?!

  10. On twitter, lately I’ve been followed by a lot of hookers & prostitutes. -_-

    I always feel like a lot of people hate me but when I delve myself deeper into the problem, I realize it’s just me being insecure of myself. :/

  11. i kinda did something weird; i have a new msn account but i kind of ruined the integrity of it by adding someone that i shouldn’t have added :x

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