at the beginning of an exam period, i always think, yeah let’s do this! i put on an imaginary Japanese headband that says ‘succeed’ (i use to have a real one but it got lost during the move) and I think, i have x days before the first exam and x more days after the first, i can do this! i can do this!!!!

so in the beginning, it’s not so bad, things are moving swimmingly and you think, hey it’s okay, i may be able to do this after all.

then after the 3rd day, it gets bad, it gets real bad, i have self-induced headaches thinking about the exams. i start wearing sweatpants, EVEN WHEN I GO OUTSIDE!! I put on headbands that keep hair out of my face, even though i have effing short hair.

but hopefully, i’ll stay sane.

because i smile when i see this :D



(snorlax via MFIF)


P.S. did you know there is this ridiculously expansive and extensive pokemon wikipedia?


today i had lunch with friends of friends, very casual, we ate at a bread garden.

they are VERY nice people, and it’s all me, ALL ME.

im USUALLY pretty good at making new friends, instigating conversations, making everyone feel at ease. For the most part, but today, it went horribly horribly wrong.

When I arrived late (i was being flakey) everyone had already gotten their drinks, so I grabbed my wallet and went to buy a drink, oh yes I remembered, I HAVE TO PAY WITH CASH since of the recent fraud and what not on my credit card. I’m so unstylish with cash, a wad of bills I am okay with, but coins? coins drive me crazy.

The lady at the counter looked at me funny while I decided what I wanted, I am a slow decider, especially when it comes to drinks and food, and I RARELY go to a new restaurant unless i’m feeling particularly adventurous that day. It slows down my whole day, and more than likely, new places disappoint. I ended up choosing freshly squeezed orange juice, lovely! Paid with my awkward canadian coins and went to sit down.

everyone chatted while I sat there drinking my juice, like i was 5.

suddenly, everything halted and it was suddenly time to get food, im out of cash and my friend had to pay for me, yes i only had enough money for juice. I got a grilled chicken sandwich this time. the lovely people were attempting to make conversation with me, but I dont know why but today i just buckled down and ate, and ate and ate some more, while of course, drinking my juice.

at the end of my sandwich, i got up and thanked everyone for lunch and left.

soon after i went to the washroom and washed my hands, noticing that yes, there are spinach on my teeth, so not only was i not charming, i was not charming with spinach. i stared at myself in the mirror with horror, but what can i do, it’s over and so I took the bus home.

i’m definitely not one of those people that impress the shoes off of you, but i’m not boring either. i don’t smell bad (occasionally i smell like gucci !) and i have some interesting stories to tell. But, being awkward in front of friends of friends? that’s something i always manage to do.


“did i just read about someones awkward lunch experience?”

why yes you did, to make you not hate me i’ve provided the link to the marc jacobs & louis vuitton documentary on youtube!


part 1 is here and you can find the following part in ‘related video’s or on the sidebar :D it’s such a cute and whimsical documentary! there’s a lot of un-subtitled french but we all know we need to practice in case we bump into uncle Karl one day.


interestingly that i chose to watch HOUSE on this friday night filled with popcorn and nail polish. no im really just catching up on all the TV i didn’t get to watch the past week and that i won’t be watching next week.

this week’s house, if you follow house, was actually about a blogger (being the patient, not focused on her of course, it was played by that redhead in that 70s show, she’s blonde here)

a few days ago in class, the professor brought up ‘bloggers’ as a group of people in a certain context, but it felt like they should be people that we distance our selves from, like pedophiles.

She used the term ‘they’, THEY is ME! I’m not upset that i’m being put into a very special circle for very special children. but that it’s still not commonly accepted to be a blogger. Unless you’re a popular blogger then that’s a totally different story, but still it’s not that common.

but i love the niche that i have created.

So back to House, they tackle some medical issues of course, but what struck a cord with me was that the patient felt unconnected with her husband and she uses blogging as a form of communication with people, to share her thoughts and to obtain opinions.

this is merely speculation on my part but i think bloggers all start out being a little bit lonely.

(also they all want to write so… )

i really want to talk to someone sometimes, i start awkward conversations on MSN. i’m talking about Michael Cera level of awkward here.

it’s basically me trying to talk with someone, someone that i know in real life, someone that i find interesting. in hopes of making a part time friend that i could call and talk to , or maybe even hang out together sometimes. but of course they don’t find me interesting back. i always try to over compensate by being helpful or extremely funny. fail and fail and fail some more. let’s shut this operation down.


I know that i’m definitely LESS lonely with blogging, and blogs and communities, some of my favorite things to do is read rants on various news sites, people are hilarious and opinionated.

who’s sick of hearing stuff like “i see what you are saying but i think…” or “while your point is excellent, this is…”

but on the internet, we get straight to the point! people have extremely intelligent debates and discussions in the comment sections!

All these lonely folks who are intelligent, who are interested in films, REAL BOOKS, music and general goodness of pop culture? who are you?


Linkin Park – In Between

I was on my way to the bus station. Despite everything I felt pretty good. I wasn’t skipping down the sidewalk or anything, but I liked some things about myself and I didn’t wan to die. It was the closest I’d been to optimistic in years. — Apathy and Other Small Victories by Paul Neilan

Second half of the book felt like it was written drunk, it felt a bit rushed and some what inconsistent with the beginnings. Timeline felt a bit more warped than usual, but it’s weird and funny. The type of funny isn’t as LOL as some other books you might have read. But as you read, you’ll stop and chuckle and return to reading. It’s not that easy to put down, so time-block a bit for this one. Oh lots of vulgarity, which I like very much.

In the book there’s a what is described as -sadistic corporate climber- woman. After reading about her and her behaviors, it’s what we are suppose to aspire to. Obviously not everyone wants to be a corporate exec, but these goal oriented, let-not-one-day pass life style that we lead is somewhat unhealthy. and it’s ironic since i just posted an entry about time-blocking on my other blog!

let’s hope that my kind of ‘doing-well’ is different, because right now i’m not really sure there could be a difference.

let’s hope that my kind of ‘doing-well’ is different, because right now i’m not really sure there could be a difference.

wikipedia described this book as a “possibly part of a trend of novels focusing on directionless people of an unusually young age for such restlessness”

won’t it be ironic if young people HAD directions? But i’m also rooting for direction-less anti-heros, who find people that got it together interesting? isn’t it the raw human emotions of struggle much more beautiful? okay i’ll shut up now…! It was also cute how he focused on cubicle-hate, that’s so early 2000 late 1990s! We don’t work in cubicles anymore, we suffer in open spaces with 20 year olds as our CEOs, not making money but getting to attend the Grammys. Oh wait, I work for GAP, i’m just going to take this battery pack and smack it over my head now.

I sincerely hope I get to be a 20-something thats making it and getting there with my innovation and love for the environment, I’m 21 and i think it’s too damn late.

Also Paul writes a blog, which wikipedia described as ‘regularly upating’, his last entry dated 2008… it’s..not 2008 anymore. And the kicker is he uses typepad, innovation, you gota love it.

OH YEAH, my biggest impression of the book, he writes like he’s British, the whole time i felt like i was reading a book from across the pond, but it’s from America, he writes like he’s British. quite mind blowing actually..

what a random entry, new hair cut after the cut

Continue reading WHITE POWDER




obsessed with this song, have been on repeat for a very very long time too, but more more importantly, the supermarket in the video is only a few blocks away from my house and i can’t believe i never knew they shot a video here!

i like the lyrics, cute, real cute, but from what we learned in class, romanticism is a DISEASE! because it gives you hallucinations about the ‘perfect one’.

if you’ll excuse me, i’m gonna take a dose of reality now



there was once a Brahman named godly in a certain town. His wife mothered a single son and a mungoose. And she loved little ones, she cared for the mungoose also like a son, giving him milk from her breast, and salves, and baths, and so on. but she did not trust him, for she thought: “a mungoose is a nasty kind of creature. He might hurt my boy.” Yes, there is a sense in the proverb:
A son will ever bring delight
though bent on folly, passion, and spite
though shabby, naughty, and a fright
One day she tucked her son in bed, took a water-jar, and said to her husband “now professor, I am going for water, you must protect the boy from the mungoose.” But when she was gone, the Brahman went off somewhere by himself to beg for food, leaving the house empty. While he was gone, a black snake issued from his hole and, as fate would have it,crawled toward the baby’s cradle. But the mungoose, feeling him to be a natural enemy, and fearing for the life of his baby brother, fell upon the vicious serpent halfway, joined battled with him, tore him to bits, and tossed the pieces far and wide. Then, delighted with his own heroism, he ran, blood trickling from his mouth, to meet the mother; for he wished to show what he had done. But when the mother saw him coming, saw his bloody mouth and his excitement, she feared that the villain must have eaten her babyboy, and without thinking twice, she angrily dropped the water-jar upon him, which killed him the moment that it struck. there she left him without a second though, and hurried home, where she found the baby safe and sound, and near the cradle a great black snake, torn to bits. then, overwhelmed with sorrow because she had thoughtlessly killed her benefactor, her son, she beat her head and breast. At this moment, the Brahman came home with a dish of rice gruel which he had got from someone in his begging tour, and saw his wife bitterly lamenting her son, the mungoose. “Greedy! Greedy!” she cried. “Because you did not do as I told you, you must now taste the bitterness of a son’s death, the fruit of your own wickedness. Yes this is what happens to those blinded by greed.”

Stuart Blackburn / his essay The Brahman and the Mongoose

honestly though, the first thought that came to mind when the animal Mongoose is mentioned is this…

What a mysterious creature…


i’ve been out cold with MEASELS, which was what i called it before i found out its real name, U-something… it’s not that bad, i’ve been taking some allergy medicine, but as we all know with allergies, they’ll come back to haunt you year and year again. so i want to cure the root of it, so i went to my traditional chinese doctor, prescribed me some roots, bee-hives, shells of bugs.. among other things…it’s really slow acting so i have to eat my allergy medicine anyway..

here’s a photo that rebecca took of me for her project, this one is my favorite, she uploaded a few others on her flickr. i think if my face was revealed, it would definitely ruin the artistic integrity of the piece. yeah!

But seriously though, it was fun even though i felt awkward, but i finally learned what a hot-shoe is! external flash, i knew it was some sort of flash but i didnt know you could connect it onto giant light emitting things..yeah, my new camera will have a slot for hot flash, you can tell that i’m excited about it right?

Daniel Merriweather – Chainsaw

So far the weekend has been uneventful but i haven’t been to school for the past two days, so it feels extra long.

ack, im in a bad mood recently, told my mom i was going to the library but instead went driving

but you know what they say, when bad things keep happening, something extra good is gonna happen.


Delphic – Counterpoint

wanted to wear this rosary to school today, but i never know if it’s okay to wear a piece of jewelry that has religious affiliation when i, myself am not affiliated.

I had dinner with my friend last night, we’re both in a weird place right now. And it’s funny how the things we tell each other are exactly the same, yet we fail to apply the same wisdom and logic to ourselves! I guess, more than often a problem will go away if you just let it settle, or look at it from someone else’s eyes.

it’ll become blindingly obvious

i also realized that no matter what someone else does to you, you probably shouldn’t treat them badly or talk badly of them just because, you feel like they deserve it. I shouldn’t talk, im a basher, i like to bash people, but i think i’m going to stop, or try to stop. no one deserves to be talked badly about, no matter what they did to you. the most you can do is remove them from your life, and be smrt, SMRT!

everything is circumstantial.

p.s. posed for Rebecca today, i like saying the word photoshoot, it sounds AWESOME and it makes me sound cooler for just saying it, or having any relations to that word. of course, i suck at posing, the pictures came out good because you can’t see my face, that’s what usually ruins photos, my face. maybe she’ll post some pics from today’s shoot, HA

i dont know why i thought i could be a model, a model’s life is not for non-models! that made sense…


im really obsessed with denim shirts, and CHAMBRAY shirts, that’s a fancy term for light cotton or smthn like that.

i even bothered to make this mini montage of images fro magazines and what not

(also obsessed w/ VAMPIRE WEEKEND’s new album CONTRA)

(click to view enlarged versions)

yeah i had a few rough days, since something not so good happened so i was emo-ing away at school, the weather was being cooperative and raining (but then again it rains everyday)

then i read this awesome story! (that i had to read for my folklore class)

Continue reading HE’S A DIPLOMAT’S SON